“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 NKJV
Sometimes it is hard to believe there is a light when we are in such a dark place. We spend a lot of time wondering and asking the “Why” questions. Why do they treat me this way? or Why did it happen to me? and so on. Have we ever asked ourselves, if God answered our “Why” questions, what good would that do to us? Would that change what have happened? I believe the answer is NO. God knows everything in our lives. Everything that has happened, is going on and is about to happen, He knows it all. Nothing comes by a surprise to Him.
I have learned so much in such a short period of time about grief. It will be 8 months in two days of my husband’s passing. Each day is a challenge. I battle with my own thoughts every day. The jealousy, the pain, the heartbreak all keep coming back to me. I say this a lot, “If I didn’t have Jesus, how would my life have turned out to be?” That thought is what often remind me about how good God is. I am here with a purpose. I might not see it now, but I will look back and realize it. Grieving is a long process and each one of us has our own unique way on how we deal with grief. I have heard so many comments about my life and how I should live my life from people. Like why? seriously?
There has been a time where I’m like, “God, I am so done and I can’t handle it anymore.” I hate crying and a lot of time that is the only thing that I can do to express myself. No words can describe how I feel, so I just cry. I am sure everyone has experienced such a thing. It is okay to cry, it doesn’t mean you are weak. It means that you have been strong for so long. Cry and cling on to God are what God wants from us. He loves us just as we are, with all of the imperfections and flaws. That is what keeps me going because I know He only wants what is best for me. God never promised us an easy life, but He promised to walk with us holding our hands. My prayer is that May God helps us to remember that He is in control not us, that His plans are for our best, and that we must trust Him.
It might seem impossible to see the light when we are in such a dark place. But remember,
“This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.” 1 John 1:5 NIV
Have a good night ❤